Happy Feast Day, St. Colette!
The Making of a Saint—or a Perfectionist’s Nightmare
Imagine locking yourself in a tiny room for three years with no human contact. No social media, no books, no distractions. Just you, your thoughts, and an overwhelming fear that no matter how hard you try, you’ll never be holy enough.
That was Colette of Corbie’s life—at least, for a while. Born on January 13, 1381, she started as a deeply anxious, overly scrupulous woman who tried to control her holiness like an obsessive project manager. By the end of her life, she was a joyful, miracle-working reformer who founded seventeen convents and changed the course of religious history.
So, how did she go from paralyzing fear to radical trust? And what can her story teach us about overcoming our own anxieties?
An Unlikely Beginning: The Weight of Being a ‘Miracle Baby’
From the start, Colette was special—but not necessarily in a way she would have chosen. Her parents had been childless for years, praying desperately for a baby. When she was finally born, people whispered that she was a miracle. But being an only child born to elderly parents came with baggage. She was expected to be extraordinary.
That’s a lot of pressure for a kid.
Colette grew up in a deeply religious household, but instead of basking in the comfort of faith, she developed a crippling fear of unworthiness. She felt called to religious life, but none of the existing paths felt right. Benedictines? Too soft. Beguines? Not strict enough. Poor Clares? Close, but still not quite it.
So, instead of making a decision, she did what any overwhelmed person does—she retreated. At age 21, she locked herself in a tiny room as a hermit for three years.
Which, honestly, makes modern ‘social anxiety’ look like a minor inconvenience.
Spiritual Perfectionism: When Holiness Feels Like a Chore
While in her self-imposed exile, Colette devoted herself to prayer, fasting, and intense asceticism. She wasn’t just trying to be holy—she was trying to be perfect. But perfectionism, whether in the spiritual life or in everyday goals, has a way of backfiring. Instead of feeling closer to God, she became more anxious, more uncertain, and more convinced that she was failing.
Psychologically, this was a classic case of scrupulosity—an obsessive fear of sin that turns faith into a minefield. Colette feared that anything less than extreme sacrifice wasn’t enough. If she could just control every aspect of her life, maybe then she’d be worthy.
Sound familiar?
Many of us struggle with this kind of thinking, whether in faith, work, or relationships. We convince ourselves that if we just do everything perfectly, we’ll be safe from failure, rejection, or—even worse—disappointing God.
But here’s the catch: faith, like life, isn’t about control. It’s about surrender.
And for Colette, that realization came in the form of a mystical vision.
Breaking Free: The Call That Terrified Her
One day, while deep in prayer, Colette had a vision of St. Francis and Jesus himself. They didn’t say, “Great job isolating yourself forever!” Instead, they told her to get out of her hermitage and reform the Poor Clares, calling them back to stricter devotion.
She immediately panicked. Her? Reform an entire order? She was barely managing her own spiritual life! But the vision was clear, and Colette was about to learn a profound psychological truth:
The antidote to fear is action.
Despite her self-doubt, she left her hermitage and set out to reform the Poor Clares. And guess what? People hated it. Many nuns resisted her changes, accusing her of being a troublemaker. At one point, she was even excommunicated (briefly) before eventually being reinstated by the pope.
The old Colette—the one who obsessed over getting everything right—might have crumbled under the rejection. But this new Colette? She had learned that holiness wasn’t about being perfect; it was about trusting completely.
The Power of Surrender: From Anxiety to Joy
Colette spent the rest of her life traveling, founding convents, and reforming the order. And something incredible happened: she became joyful. The once-fearful, anxious woman was now known for her deep peace and unwavering faith.
Psychologically, Colette underwent a transformation from control-based anxiety to radical trust. This kind of shift happens when we stop believing that everything rests on our own abilities and start recognizing that grace fills the gaps.
Let’s pause and be real with ourselves for a minute though. If you’re like me, it’s easy to be jealous of her vision. There’s a temptation to shrug off stories like hers by thinking, “Yeah, if I had a vision like that, I could be this holy too. But I haven’t.” It’s harder to admit that it wasn’t the vision that transformed her–it was the work she put in after, hand in hand with Christ, that changed her.
Colette’s later years were filled with miracles—people were healed, visions were reported, and many claimed to feel an overwhelming peace in her presence. But perhaps the greatest miracle was her own internal peace.
Lessons for Us: How to Overcome Our Own Anxiety
So, what can we take from St. Colette’s story?
Perfectionism is a trap. If you’re waiting to ‘get it all together’ before you follow your calling, you’ll be waiting forever.
Fear shrinks when you take action. Colette’s greatest growth came when she stepped out of her comfort zone.
Surrender is the key to peace. You don’t have to control everything. In fact, trying to do so might be the very thing keeping you anxious. Letting go of control is easier said than done, but the journey is worth the effort.
Colette started as an anxious, scrupulous perfectionist. She ended as a woman so free that miracles followed in her wake. And if she could make that journey, maybe—just maybe—so can we.
What do you think? Have you ever struggled with perfectionism in your faith or daily life? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts! And, if you’re looking for daily accompaniment in navigating spiritual and mental challenges, send me a message for more information about professional CatholicPsych mentorship. I’d love to walk alongside you on your journey toward freedom and peace.
Wow! Great to hear about Collete, very real, insightful, and funny (“Great job isolating yourself forever!”)! Thanks!